Velcome, to Count Vad’s house of horrors! Boooooooo! This veek ve have a truly horrifying collection of movies that are sure to give you chills, thrills, and perhaps the occasional spill. So, boys and ghouls, I give you veek three of my Spooktober Fest viewing!
Movie 14: Bigfoot County: The count does not know why he does this to himself.
Every year I go through some found footage movie, even though I can’t stand the genre as a whole. Maybe I just hate myself that much. OK. So, this tries to do Blair Witch but with a bigfoot. The problem is you don’t care about any of the characters and the crew doesn’t know how to make the low budget work for the movie, unlike Blair Witch. I don’t even really like Blair Witch all that much but at least you cared about the characters in that one and they knew how to work what little bit of money they had.
Movie 15: Killing Spree: Vat the hell is wrong with Tim Ritter?
Apparently this one is also known as “Tim Ritter’s Killing Spree.” I’m not sure why anyone would want to advertise they’re responsible for this one but what do I know. Definitely good bad movie fodder as it’s cheap, incompetently made, and just plain weird at times. Not the worst way to spend my night. Kind of NSFW trailer.
Movie 16: Earth vs. The Spider: This vas a treat for the count.
I hadn’t seen this since the MST3K take years and years ago. A lot better than I remember it being and genuinely fun to watch. There was actually even a couple of creepy moments I had blocked out somehow like the one shot of a lone toddler in the middle of a street, the sole survivor of the spider attack. Damn, Earth vs. The Spider. Not bad.
Movie 17: The Return of Swamp Thing: The count likes the Heather Locklear.
I have to admit that I kind of love this schloky camp-fest by sleezebag auteur Jim Wynorski. It’s not a “good” movie by any means but it is kind of fun and the Swamp Thing suit itself is damn impressive for something cranked out in 27 days.
As a bonus, here are the opening credits, which are quite fun.
Movie 18: This one got to the count.
The Last House on the Left: Finally got around to watching this after all these years. Not as graphic as I thought it would be but definitely as disturbing and horrific. It’s almost a deconstruction of the revenge flick, long before Blue Ruin came out. I could have done without the goofy adventures of two inept cops. Not sure why they were included. Scary stuff, for sure.
Hell House llc: A Halloween treat for the count’s sveet tooth.
This one has become one of my yearly watches during the month of Halloween. One of the few found footage flicks that’s actually pretty well made with characters you actually give a damn about and a genuinely creepy atmosphere.
Movie 20: The Gate: Little Count Vad used to get the heebiest of jeebies from this one.
I probably haven’t seen this one in about 8 or 9 years and it holds up surprisingly well. Just a great example of a horror movie for younger audiences that touches on things like abandonment and loneliness. Plus, it’s another great example of suburban horror. I can never get enough of that genre.
The count shall return next week, for the penultimate collection of fearful films! Blah!